Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in broduke2000's LiveJournal:

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Friday, November 27th, 2009
12:58 am	But Hunny, I Love You. Photo by Longhairbare So for the past year or so we've been eyeing this wooden statue/carving at Black Bear. It's supposed to be of the bottom bear taking a long auger and boring into the hunny pot. Except, it sorta looks like to me that he's getting awful close to the top bear's privates. Just sayin'.... Current Mood: accomplished Current Music: None. Their jukebox hasn't worked right in months. (7 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, November 24th, 2009
12:50 am	Tiger And Piglets Hey! So I like pigs. Wanna make something of it?! Current Mood: bouncy (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, November 23rd, 2009
2:09 am	Thanks! Thanks to all of you who showed concern on my trip to the Wonderful World Of Colonoscopy. As far as the butt doc was concerned, it was uneventful, in that he couldn't find anything. So he took no samples, and gave me a clean bill of health. Except I still can't eat without lots of pain. But special recognition should be given to the Anesthesiologist. As a doc trained in knocking people out, he should be aware of all the ramifications of the drugs he uses. Some people get really sick afterward, and I'm one of them. Toradol™ is a wonderful drug, and will alleviate all the pain. So as we're comparing notes, I tell him: "Give me a Toradol shot." WRONG! He did so by squeezing a small dose into my IV. This will give me instant relief, which will be gone before I get home. I should have said: "Give me a Toradol shot IM." This would have given me 24 hours of timed release relief. And he should fuckin' know that! But the coup de gras came when I pleaded with the nurse. Her response: "We already gave you Toradol. If you want more, you'll have to go to the ER." Guess what? The pain started about an hour after I got home. Palm Drive Hospital could easily earn a Town Without Pity Award™ with behavior like this... Current Mood: aggravated (8 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, November 22nd, 2009
1:39 am	Mr. Marcus, RIP Mr. Marcus Hernandez, officiating at a Club Mud event on the River. Goodbye, Ol' Friend. Current Mood: sad (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Thursday, November 19th, 2009
12:47 am	T-O-R-T-U-R-E OK, so it's officially been 12 hours since I started taking the trilyte. Dumping the provided saccharin-sweetened "favor packets" was a plus, having opted for Crystal Light which works better. Except Crystal Light is owned by Kraft, which makes me think it's made in China. Also, finding it with a flavor that's compatible with your stomach ain't easy. I have to thank my Rat for going out late on my stomach's behalf, when we discovered that lemonade flavor was filled with acid. But what really got me is my craving for food! Ever wonder how many fast-food TV commercials out there run in any given 30 minute period? I'm getting swamped with ads for delectable, mouth-watering CHEEZEBURGERS! PIZZAS! GREASY FRENCH FRIES! Oh, I'd give my left arm to just smell that hot oil one more time! Yeah, I know what you're thinking: 12 hours ain't an eternity. Well, that's easy to say when you got hot dogs and frozen pizza in your fridge. Unfortunately, the only thing on the horizon for me is 4 more hours of trilyte, and maybe a few swallows of canned chicken broth for dessert. BAH! HUMBUG! I NEEDS CHEEZEBURGER!!!!!! Current Mood: bitchy Current Music: Cheezeburgers In Paradise (8 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, November 17th, 2009
1:24 am	Fun With Colons My eyes rolled when I learned what will be my diet for this Wednesday: Breakfast 1) can of Swanson™ Chicken Broth 1) dish of Jell-O™ that ain't died purple or red. 1) 8 oz. glass of Trilyte™ liquid, which is roto-rooter for colons. In-between snacks 1) can of Swanson™ Chicken Broth 1) dish of Jell-O™ that ain't died purple or red. 1) 8 oz. glass of Trilyte™ liquid, which is roto-rooter for colons. Lunch 1) can of Swanson™ Chicken Broth 1) dish of Jell-O™ that ain't died purple or red. 1) 8 oz. glass of Trilyte™ liquid, which is roto-rooter for colons. In-between snacks 1) can of Swanson™ Chicken Broth 1) dish of Jell-O™ that ain't died purple or red. 1) 8 oz. glass of Trilyte™ liquid, which is roto-rooter for colons. Dinner 1) can of Swanson™ Chicken Broth 1) dish of Jell-O™ that ain't died purple or red. 1) 8 oz. glass of Trilyte™ liquid, which is roto-rooter for colons. By the time Thursday morning rolls around, I'm supposed to have consumed A GALLON on Trilyte, with my choice of one of it's mouth-watering saccharin-flavored packets. Oh....this should be mounds of fun! Current Mood: annoyed (23 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, November 9th, 2009
12:49 am	Pirate Radio Way back when I wuz a kid, and continuing until about 15 years ago, it's no secret that I was a professional radio pirate. Not because I wanted to be, but because I had to be. The list of stations rejecting me, purely because of the music I play, would fill an almanac. So, I am happy to see a 2nd entry in the movie category of films with a pirate radio theme. Pirate Radio The Movie If you take his suit and tie off, this could easily be me circa 1968, with 45's in a cardboard box, and a homemade transmitter that reached to the ocean. It's nice to see the director payed attention to detail. While this one centers on British pirates, the theme is the same. They are "pirates" only because the government won't allow them on the air. Through the years, I've communicated with a few British pirates and they have lots of contempt with the US. Because while their government eventually accommodated them, ours didn't, and continues to prosecute. It never makes corporate news. The corporations don't want you to know anything about this. But pirates still exist here, and get busted regularly. According to a watchdog group, this past decade the FCC dispatched officers 2,084 times, which resulted in 120 Raids with guns drawn, 121 seizures, and 908 "friendly visits," which netted the government $22,211,750.00 in fines! For the most part, these are kids who only wanted to play music that they can't hear on the corporate airwaves. These are young adults who were told by their local radio stations that there's no room for them, even if they wanna work for free. I know ... I've fuckin' been there! In most cases, the $22 million in fines were paid by their respective parents, in order to avoid a threat by the FCC to send their kid to a stiff, 2 year prison sentence, should it end up in a federal court. And in most cases, these guys weren't even interfering with a licensed station. They were just competing, like I was, on an unused frequency. Please join me in watching my autobiography. Current Mood: nostalgic Current Music: Old 45's (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, November 5th, 2009
2:25 am	I'm A Lumberjack And I'm OK... Wonder what color the neon is? Current Mood: amused Current Music: I'm A Lumberjack And I'm OK (5 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, November 2nd, 2009
11:39 pm	LJ Supports The Fundys In Maine? Dear LJ: I realize that money is tight, what with the US dollars going over to China after they bribed out elected representatives, but did you have to stoop so low as the accept money from Racist Fundys in Maine? I guess an argument could be made that they're spending their advertising money unwisely, to a group of mostly liberal free-thinkers that ain't racist. But I'm so sick of hearing them compare Gay marriage to the indoctrination of a 5 year old, I wanna puke. I am not a "radical homosexual activist" but I think two adults who love each other, should be able to marry, and not be second class citizens. If these dudes don't like Gays, fine! Then they should get out of Maine and go back to where they live: In their churches in Utah. And anyway, why are they including this line: Please make a generous contribution NOW and help us fight back against the indoctrination of gay marriage in the classroom. The last time I looked, the Mormon church was decked out in solid gold. They ain't hurtin' for money.       Click To Enlarge Current Mood: angry Current Music: The Mormon Tabernacle Choir Sings Broadway Show Tunes (7 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, October 30th, 2009
3:25 pm	Available For Dates Meet Heinz Muller from Germany. He's available for dates and whatever else you might want. His trouble started when spent all his money to travel to Brazil. There, he pitched woo with a Brazilian woman he met on the internet. Apparently he ain't too good in bed, so she dumped him after the first encounter. So now he's stuck at the airport in Campinas, Brazil...penniless, hungry, alone, and open to suggestions. Gee, if only he had a beard... Heinz Muller, abandoned Current Mood: amused (Comment on this)
Monday, October 26th, 2009
1:25 am	Finally---Wheelchair Outlawz, The Movie Well, it's been several weeks since I posted the preview. The actual video has been experiencing mucho problemo as I try to compose it on our decade-old mac, which is on it's last legs. So, rather than wait to make upgrades, I'll just release it, with acknowledged weirdness. This first, rough draft version has too many "whoas" and there's a black spot in the middle where a software error occurred. But overall, it was a fun video to film, and features a couple of recruitable neighborhood kids. I especially like the "Chipmunk" sound that emanates from the raw video, and I was impressed on how well I could mix various sounds into a montage, since i-movie gives you 3 channels of audio to play with. Who knows? I might become another Phil Spector.... Special thanks to bikerbaer for the encouragement. Current Mood: accomplished (15 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, October 25th, 2009
12:26 am	Cool Kitty Amazing what you can do with artificial cat arms and a totally compliant cat. Current Mood: amused (5 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, October 20th, 2009
11:48 pm	Writer's Block: The Kid In The Commune If your best friend asked you OR your partner to help you conceive a child, would you consider it? How do you think it would affect your friendship and your relationship? Submitted By moho2987 View 971 Answers I'm gonna answer that by reflecting back to my Los Angeles days. I was just after The Summer Of Love. I was looking for parts for a 1957 IHC bread truck, which brought me, via a classified ad, to what amounted to be a Hippie Commune. Sure enough, they had a good rear axle. A young dude with blond hair down to his butt bargained with me. And then someone caught my eye. It was an androgynous kid, about 16, with bruises on his face, including the remains of a black eye. Most sores were healing up, but I could tell that this kid had really been beaten, and hard. So I asked the obvious question. The response from the Hippie, floored me: "We found him on Hollywood Blvd. last night, and just in time. He was trying to sell his body in exchange for food. Turns out, his parents kicked him out of their house for being Gay. His dad gave him the shiner as a going away present. He hitchhiked all the way from North Carolina to Hollywood. I'm not Gay, but I guess I'm his dad now." The Hippie wrapped his arm around the boy's shoulders in solidarity. It's the only time I paid more for a part, than what was asked. Current Mood: thankful (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, October 18th, 2009
12:58 am	Gay Commercial TV ADS?! So we're watching old Star Trek episodes on a local San Francisco TV station, but it's what comes on during commercial breaks that's the most interesting part. Slickly produced TV ads promoting same sex dating?! My, this would be unheard of a decade ago! While Gay newspapers would be chock full of muscle-bound ads for sex and dating to a specific targeted audience, running ads showing muscular stud-types grinning their white teeth to the general public, was considered taboo! Maybe the times have changed, but I can imagine the station being subjected to many an angry phone call from fundys once they find out about this. It has the air of a Mafiosi organization with mostly white, clean-cut wholesome types until you sample some of their commercials on you tube. There you'll find commercials for other cities as well, including New Mexico featuring mostly Hispanics, speaking English with Spanish accents. Clean-cut Hispanics, of course. Anybody with a sizable beard is totally taboo in Mafia porn and TV advertising. GRRR! Current Mood: amazed (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Saturday, October 17th, 2009
2:29 am	It's Gettin' To Look Alot Like Halloween.... Hail Allah! My radio partner sez he wants to dress up as a Republican for Halloween. Sure enough, this would be scary. But I think I may opt to be a Muslim woman in a Bouqua. Scariest thing I ever saw... Current Mood: artistic (13 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, October 11th, 2009
11:58 pm	Wheelchair Outlawz Is Cumming! Last week I got an urgent email from an elderly lady: "Help! I need my scooter repaired, and the ripoff company says they'll charge me $85 an hour ... just in labor!" Well, I repair jukeboxes and old radios. Can I repair a motorized wheel chair? You bet! To introduce you to correct terminology, it's called a scooter. Yeah, I know "scooter" is generally assigned to certain kinds of motorcycles, but that's what it's called. It may look like an electric wheelchair, but that's not what it's called. In fact, it's got 2 driven rear wheels and a single front wheel with handlebars, so it could be called a trike, but no ... it's called a "scooter." And so, when I wrote bikerbaer and told him of my latest acquisition, and the idea that I should get some pictures of me souping it up, he responded with: "Get Rat to shoot some video of you terrorizing the neighborhood with the motorized wheelchair. That I've gotta see!" I agree! So this week was spent shooting some video in competition with the neighborhood kids. What got me, however, was the first scene. I can assure you that is my real voice. It is not altered in any way, whatsoever. And it makes an ... interesting preview. Current Mood: accomplished Current Music: Born To Be Wild (14 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, October 9th, 2009
5:30 pm	Goodbye Mr. Marcus When it comes to a Club Mud supporter, Mr. Marcus was a king. He helped us out so much that I even put him in the book version of "Outlaw Bikers In Love." We did a Club Mud benefit event up here on the river for SF AIDS Emergency Fund, that garnered attendees as far away as Germany & Holland, all due to Marcus' column. And afterward, a couple of front-page photos in BAR was the icing on the cake. It was with pride that I walked into Russian River News, and placed a copy of BAR on the editors desk. I smiled and emoted "Hey look: Front page!" The editor smiled back and said: "Small town makes big news with mud czar's help." Mr. Marcus, you were a wonderful friend and a supporter. We're all gonna miss ya deeply. Much more detailed BAR article is here. Current Mood: sad (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, October 7th, 2009
2:09 am	Fun With Discipline Congratulations: Judge Herman Thomas. Thomas is accused of giving young men special reduced sentences if they submit to His Honor. Several felons have confessed that the good judge enjoyed taking a paddle and spanking them in his back room chambers. Judge Thomas insists he is innocent, and was only trying to "mentor" the inmates. First, there were reports of inmates having to pull down their underwear for spankings with a wooden paddle. OUCH ! Then came allegations of oral and anal sex, according to court records. Jail checkout records, back up inmates' claims about trips to Thomas' private office, and some inmates, it was noted, had spotted red marks on their buttocks. There also is other evidence, according to court records ... including a strange seminal fluid on the office carpet ... and it wasn't from mudcub or Monica! The inmates were also able to describe in detail, Thomas' unmarked windowless office and his private car. All in all, 15 inmates have come foreward to testify that they had sex with the judge. Judge Herman Thomas, In Trouble With The Law And Wearing An Un-masculine Bow Tie. Current Mood: amused (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, October 4th, 2009
1:29 am	Fun With Horns It was 1982, And Toni Basil was topping the charts. It was a late Friday night in San Francisco. I was in the back of my TV repair shop, relaxing. I sipped on a coke as Johnny Carson started his monolog. Then, suddenly, I heard it.     !!♪♬ ♬♪!!     It wasn't hard to miss. Someone was leaning on their car horn. I tried to ignore it, but the sheer volume made it impossible. Where ever it was, it was close. A minute passed with no letup, so I decided to investigate. There, parked almost in front of my store, was a huge, late model Buick. It was parked perfectly, but the occupant ... wasn't. In fact, he was unconscious, leaning his head on the steering wheel. I banged on the window. An eye opened, but not much more. On the passenger seat, a half-empty bottle of Seagrams awaited further consumption. I banged a few more times to no avail. Out of ideas, I went back inside to call 911: "There's a drunk passed out in his car and the horn is blasting!" "Is he in traffic?" "No, he's parked in front of my store." "The car is parked?" "Yes." "It's not blocking traffic?" "No." "Sir, this is a really busy Friday night. We will get to it when we can." Not exactly thrilled with SFPD, I went back out and pounded some more on the window. Opening up the hood came to mind, but I was certain that this was one of those fancy, expensive cars with an internal hood latch. And with the windows rolled up, I wasn't getting in unless I found a baseball bat. Just at that point, who should come downstairs from the upstairs apartments, but Lil' Gary. Without even batting a eyelash, he goes to the front of the car, opens the hood and pulls the horn wires. It's like he knows the car intimately. The whole operation takes about 60 seconds. It was one of those Why didn't I think of that? moments, and I gave Gary a big bearhug. Later he would give me a big shower. Still later, he'd be living below Leather Bear. Still still later, he would marry bikerbaer. Current Mood: nostalgic Current Music: Toni Basil---Micky (5 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, September 25th, 2009
12:59 am	Fun With Cops At Cal Expo Those of you who know me well, know that I ain't a big fan of cops. Mostly, they either cost me money or get in my way. While people get murdered, cops are usually busy writing me traffic tickets or treating me like dung. So there I was at Cal Expo in Sacramento: The reason I was there, was this big fountain. And at 100º outside, people were jumping in. Ooh! Porno for Duke!! Cal Expo's huge outdoor sound system continued to pump soft, go-to-sleep, non-rock favorites from John Denver and the OST album of Annie Get Your Gun. Periodically a tape would play inviting people to see an official Cal Expo sanctioned stage show of "Hair." So, the sun is getting low, they announce the show is in 10 minutes, and I think: "Hey, what the fuck, it's free." BAD IDEA! Now, I don't need to tell you "Hair" is about Hippies. Marijuana, Free Love, Liberalism...you know...all those things that conservatives and cops and especially corporate types who run fairs...hate. So why was Cal Expo sanctioning this? In fact there were numerous posted signs at the entrance, warning people specifically not to bring in Marijuana. Speed, coke, crank, even shrooms were not mentioned on the sign...and therefore (according to the sign) OK to bring in and ingest...Just make sure you keep your weed away. So, as they broke into a chorus of "This is the dawning of the age of aquarius" it didn't surprise me when a few people started sharing a joint. By the time it got to the person in front of me, it was down to Roach Size, and I didn't want to burn my mustache, so I declined an offer. Throughout the play, smoke emanated from various areas, in total violation of the entrance sign. But it never got close to me again. So...the show's over, the people are applauding, and suddenly I feel a hand around my shoulder. It's a cop. He says in no uncertain terms: "Come with me." Whereupon I was escorted to the very building that housed the same Altec amplifiers, that told everybody about how wonderful it would be to see their crummy little play. He made me empty my pockets, looked at my license, checked for warrants, and informed my that I had been seen smoking that evil Marijuana that they warned me about. I kept my cool, and suggested that he had me mixed up with someone else. It didn't phase him. I asked him for a breathalyzer test, to prove that I wasn't high. No dice. I explained to him that I had observed numerous people who lit up and smoked Marijuana during the show (which promoted the smoking of Marijuana) but none of the smoke came from me. It fell on deaf ears. So, some 15 minutes later, I heard the radio come back with my name and "No record, no warrants" attached to it. He reluctantly gave me back my license. I envisioned his wang growing limp. Unbelievable to me, I still kept my cool, and told him he had the wrong person, no poof of anything, and if he'd let me go, he would never see me again. I bit my tongue. I wanted to include "OR I'LL SUE YOU FOR FALSE ARREST!" It was a standoff. He agreed. I finished looking around and left the fairgrounds. I never went back. It's bad cops like him that make all cops look like pure, unadulterated, thugs. Current Mood: aggravated (2 Comments |Comment on this)