Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in broduke2000's LiveJournal:

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Tuesday, July 7th, 2009
11:31 pm	I'm Back, Sorta...Part I Special thanks for all you who sent encouraging words, and to my Rat, who stood behind me all the while. So there I was, laying on a gurney at Palm Drive Hospital, on my 5th day of 101º fever and not able to eat or drink...terrified...in pain...and what should wander by, but a robot. No, we're not talking cheap science fiction here, this was real. It was about 5 feet tall with a 12" LCD screen and camera. Antennas poking out of it. The screen talked: "Hi! I'm Dr. Gude...we haven't met in person yet, but we're sending you to ICU. I'll meet you there tonite." What did I do to earn such a celebrity status? That's due to what transpired a few hours before that. It's literally one of the scariest moments of my life. The ER had diagnosed me with Pneumonia, gave me some antibiotic pills to swallow, and gave me a script for more. Upon obtaining said script, I immediately went to the local pharmacy, where I began to realize my stomach wasn't really all that great, which was one of the reasons why I was in the ER in the first place. _________________________________ Then it hit me. My heart began to race, I grew dizzy, and everything started turning white. I was one step away from vomit. I wasn't sure if I was gonna make it. I told them of my emergency, grabbed the pills, and slowly headed toward the parking lot. Out there in the sun, everything was blurry. Everything was turning white, like an overexposed film. My legs were turning to jello and my head was buzzing. Was I having a stroke? A heart attack? Was I dying? All these possibilities flashed before me as I directed Rat to go back to the ER. They quickly pulled us back in, and shot cold saline up my arm. When they connected up the heart monitor, they were stymied at how low my vital signs were. My heart was pumping fast, and very weak. _________________________________ Herein lies an area of medical illnesses that most doctors do not understand: A stomach in distress. What part of "I'm on fire, leave me alone" don't they understand? As far as the stomach goes, antibiotic pills are some of the worst offenders in a doctor's arsenal. Nearly all antibiotics carry a warning that sez "Take with food" which means it's gonna irritate the fuck outta your stomach, especially if you haven't eaten in 5 days! It's like adding fuel to a fire. And so, with the Pneumonia diagnosis, I was wheeled into ICU, where I was told "Anything you want, let us know." Sebastopol is known for it's cute hippies, but I declined, as I was still in mucho pain. However the Morphine was a treat, which they offered a few times, and I accepted. Talking to Dr. Gude personally was eye-opening. His view is that I should not go for the Fundoplycation operation, as the pain ain't anywhere where the surgery was gonna take place. I'm all for no operation! He's also quite a robot freak, building that thing himself from scratch. It manages to maneuver around the hospital without tipping over or smashing into things, so it's OK in my book. ICU gave me a massive dose of antibiotics, which seemed to pull the fever down. I still wasn't able to eat or drink, but an IV was at supplying hydration, so they wheeled me out of ICU and put me in the regular part of the hospital...whereupon, I met someone I hope I never see again. End Of Part I Current Mood: cold (9 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, July 2nd, 2009
1:05 am	Health Update 101 is a great freeway, but not when it's a fever. And this unusual fever apparently can't be knocked down very much with aspirin, going down to a tender 100º. There's not much more symptoms, other than a constant cough, which was there before my fever went up. Sinus is basically clear. Swineflu? Stomach Infection? The biopsy finally came back (at my insistence) but I was too busy coughing to answer the phone, and Rat was out working. I have an pre-appointment for the Fundoplycation operation in 2 weeks, and have been told the waiting list is quite long for the actual operation. Doesn't look like I'll be having much fun in the coming weeks. And I'm gonna have to be off line for awhile. Thank god I have Rat to take care o' me. Thought you'd like to know. (8 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, June 30th, 2009
4:56 pm	Attention San Franciscans: Anybody willing to pick up some jukebox glass for me by SFO? The glass is 3'X3' and non sharp, tempered safety glass. You'll need to hold onto it for awhile, cause I don't know when I'll be in SF (maybe dore alley) (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, June 29th, 2009
1:26 am	And It's Goodbye: The Bearded, Longhaired & Hunky Billy Mays Billy Mays Man, I used to drool over this guy... Billy Mays, the first ever bearded TV pitchman, died in his sleep last night at the tender age of 50. It is unclear if US Airways is involved, but he did hit his head the day before, as things fell from the ceiling on a bumpy flight. He Twittered: Just had a close call landing in Tampa. The tires blew out upon landing. Stuck in the plane on the runway. You can always count on US Air. Apparently he had a sense of humor too, so we'll end this post with this note: Police expect no fowl play (but they found a rooster in the cockpit). If you want to show your grief, go out and buy some Oxy-clean.™ And grow your beard. R.I.P. Billy..... Current Mood: sad (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, June 26th, 2009
1:00 am	Is There Racism? Facts: Michael Jackson died. People all over the world are gathering to remember him. Record stores are reporting that MJ CD's are flying off the shelf. A San Francisco Gangsta Rap station curtailed their musical format of glorifying guns and mayhem and is now playing wall to wall MJ. egbubba posted about MJ and got 1 response. furr_a_bruin posted about MJ and got 0 responses. progbear posted about MJ and got 1 response. dukeandbanner posted about MJ and got 0 responses. ---on the same day, my friends posted on the subject of--- "Transformers, The Movie"...and got 10 responses. "The New iPhone"...and got 6 responses. "The San Francisco Opera"...and got 10 responses. "A Nine Inch Nails Video"...and got 14 responses. Question: Is there racism in the gay community? Years ago, many a gay black man charged that there was. The pages of B.A.R. were filled with accusations and incidents. And just like me with a beard, I noted that blacks were frequently "carded" before entering a bar. I know exactly what that felt like. If you were clean-cut, white and wholesome looking, you were "allowed." So, considering that Michael Jackson is right there in the Disco era; and considering that he had a #1 hit about a lesbian; and considering that he made it OK to fondle your crotch in public...you'd think there'd be a little more talk and/or compassion? No he ain't The Village People, and he's nowhere near my fave, but.... Current Mood: introspective Current Music: Beat it! (16 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, June 24th, 2009
12:32 am	MMMN! So here I am baking a cake. Smells fine, until you read the ingredients: (Gets better the further you go down) 1. Sugar 2. Water 3. Partially Hydrogenated Vegetable Oil (Soybean and Cottonseed Oil) 4. Cocoa Processed with Alkali 5. Fructose 6. Corn Syrup 7. Corn Starch 8. Mono and Diglycerides 9. Salt 10. Artificial Flavor 11. Cellulose Gel 12. Carrageenan 13. Propylene Glycol Monostearate 14. Citric Acid 15. Potassium Sorbate 16. Polysorbate 80 17. Cellulose Gum 18. Soy Lecithin 19. Sodium Stearoyl Lactylate 20. Red #40 21. Yellow #5 22. Blue #1 That's 22 ingredients, just for the frosting! And what color is the Chocolate frosting before the added coloring? Yellow?! Pink??!! No wonder my stomach has shifted. It's running away from all the chemicals, most likely imported from China these days! Current Mood: nauseous Current Music: She's Real Fine My Polysorbate 80 (16 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, June 22nd, 2009
1:31 am	The TwoBraids Photo Caption Contest You can't say he ain't got a heart. twobraids putted over after reading about my predicament, and offered an exclusive photoshoot in his new greased up leathers...for the expressed purpose of getting me out of my doldrums...and giving me something positive to blog about. Hence, The TwoBraids™ Photo Caption Contest. I've added mine. You add yours. (Clicky photo for better rez.) "Hey Duke, my tire is just as wide as your wang!" Current Mood: amused (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Friday, June 19th, 2009
2:42 am	What Is Fundoplication? And Is It Fun? Sometimes I wonder if Bikerbaer and I ain't twinzee's, somewhere out there in Outer Space. He has a bad stomach, therefore I have a bad stomach. Good listeners of The Duke & Banner Show have noticed that I haven't been there, exactly. This is because I am really, really sick. Last week I was in the ER twice, doubled up in pain and unable to eat or drink anything. And the cure, as I'm reading about it, really ain't all that great. "Fundoplication" ain't what the name implies. It ain't fun. It's where they open you up and sew up your stomach. ICK! So far, so good, until you read the fine print that sez: "About 3 out of 10 people who have surgery...have new problems (such as difficulty swallowing, intestinal gas, or bloating) after the surgery. These new symptoms may or may not respond to treatment with medicines." Funny thing: I've never been in a hospital. I've never had surgery. But when I was a kid, I had a vision that when I did eventually get into a hospital, that would be it. That would mean the end. The official doc endoscopic report sez: "The patient has quite a large hiatal hernia...proximal 25% of the stomach invaginates up into the distal esophagus..." In other words, 25% of my stomach is cut off and being knotted up by wayward muscles. The Wet Alternative I love what an acupuncturist friend of mine came up with. His idea is hydrotherapy. The basic premise is, if all the muscles are loosened, then...by bouncing...the stomach will fall back into place. So here's the scenario: Take a long hot shower or throw a hot tub party...drink a cup water...relax...bounce. Repeat. Oh! This opens up a whole new opportunity for me to shower with friends!! Just think...it'll be medicinal...the doc ordered it, and it will keep me out of surgery. You do want to keep me away from the man with the sharp scalpel, don't you? Current Mood: painfully dry (8 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, June 14th, 2009
2:11 am	Facebook Sucks, LJ Rocks. So, I don't know why...but I followed 2 friends to Facebook. I scratched my head, because I don't see what's wrong with staying on LJ. What's terribly annoying about Facebook is...since I joined...I've been getting hit by dozens of people who suddenly want to be my "friend." Man, it averages 1-2 a day. Sounds good until you view the sordid details: Are they bikers? Nope. Do they have beards? Nope. Do they enjoy mudwrestling? Nope. Are some of them women? Yup. Are they trying to spam me? Very likely. But tonite, an occurrence happened that made me wonder why I ever fucking joined. I clicked on a friend (an actual friend) thinking it would take me to his page. Well...it took me to something that sorta looked like his page, except it wasn't. And then I did a real stoopid thing: I clicked on something on this bogus page! Turns out the corporation that owns Facebook sells ads to the highest bidder. None of the ads are screened, and all are aimed at 10-18 year old kids. But this ad did something that I can never forgive. It froze me! Yup, there I was, unable to exit their fucking spam unless I totally shut down my browser, or clicked on their little box that told me how delighted I'd be testing out their spam HTML. I settled for shutting it down. I confess, I should have been using Firefox. Maybe it would have protected me from this scum-of-the-earth, corporation, but I can't for the life of me understand why people are deserting LJ for some new upstart entity that caters to fucking children and spammers? WHY?! Never in my life have I ever been spammed at LJ. Look at my friends list, you won't find anybody who ain't got a beard, and you won't find any fucking damn teenagers! If you want bearded dudes, stay here! If you're hard up and want to meet some teenieboppers, then please feel free to join up with that fucking Facebook. Boy, am I mad! Current Mood: angry Current Music: None. The browser quit. (22 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, June 2nd, 2009
1:31 am	Downtime Gentlemen: You won't have to put up with me for awhile. Gonna be a boring week for me. Our "new" Apple goes in for repairs tomorrow, to the tune of $500 and a possibility of a week down time. This means we'll be off-line for that long, with no spare. I go into the hospital for stomach stuff on thursday. And our TV died tonite. We're using a much smaller spare. Damn, maybe I could just go to sleep and wake up next week.... Current Mood: bored (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Monday, June 1st, 2009
2:05 am	Fun With Beer One of my Birthday gifts this cycle, came from bikerbaer in the form of a video he found on youtube. To use his words: The group is called "Deichkind". "Arbeit Nervt" is awesome. Lots of facial fur, and men getting soaked with beer. *lick* Well, I don't see that many beards, but they do have a thing with beer. In fact, it sorta looks like one of our parties, 'cept in our case it wouldn't be beer...from the can. At any rate, it's a fun vid that made my wang stand at attention, and it's an earworm, so turn up the volume. Thanks, Bikerbaer! Current Mood: amused (Comment on this)
Sunday, May 31st, 2009
11:38 pm	New Dukey Blog As of 24 hours ago, the first ever Duke&Banner blog was birthed. This will be dedicated to our broadcasts, and offer tidbits of stuff, talk about the news, ask for your input...preview weird records...and basically tell the corporate bean counters to go get fucked. In the college that I took broadcasting, an engineer once said: "Don't hang around Duke unless you want to get drafted into one of his antics. He uses voices and talent like the power company uses volts." Hmm...at any rate, if you'd like to join, so far I'm the only one there. Gets lonely. No one to talk to. New Blog Current Mood: accomplished Current Music: coming...soon (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Friday, May 29th, 2009
12:08 am	Bro Duke At 39 I am amazed at how many complex mathematical computations Bikerbaer has to do in order to determine my age at this Birthday Cycle! Here then, are the actual computations and critical thinking that went into it. Yes, we'll be using the brand new 2009 Bikerbaer Metric Conversion Algorithm™: Duke: 2+3 = B11B111B = 62 Duke: 0+3 = B111B = -15 Duke: 2+3 = B111B111B = -8 Duke: 0+3 = BB1111B = 0 Duke: 5 = B11111B Duke: 0 = BB Duke: 2+3 = 5 = B1k1111B Duke: 2+0 = 2 = B1k1BB Duke: 0+3 = 3 = BB1k11B Duke: 0+0 = 0 = BkB Duke: integer 5 in register "3", [ 3 ] = symbol "5" = | | | | | Duke: 2+3, [ 0 ]=0, [ 1 ] =m, [ 2 ] =n Duke: m+n=∑, [ 0 ] =0, [ 1 ] =∑, [ 2 ] =39 1 JZ (2,5) ;[ 2 ]=m: If [ 2 ]=39 then instruction 5 else continue 2 DEC (2) ;Decrement count in register #2: [ 2 ] -1 → 2 3 INC (1) ;[ 1 ] =n or sum: Increment count in register #1: [ 1 ] +1 → 1 4 JZ (0,1) ; IF [ Duke = 39 then instruction 5. Else, jump to instruction 1. 5 HALT Therefore, Duke = 39. Current Mood: bouncy Current Music: Happy Happy Birthday Baby (13 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, May 27th, 2009
11:36 pm	Yes, But Is It "Good" Or "Bad" Publicity? Quoted from my local newspaper's Daily Geek section, interviewing Dale Daughtery, head cheeze of the do-it-yourself computer rag, Make Magazine: Daily Geek: What's your favorite iPhone application? Dougherty: I like the Major League Baseball application. It turns my iPhone into the modern equivalent of a transistor radio, like the one I used as a kid to listen to Vin Scully. It has about the same audio quality and Vin Scully is still calling Dodger games, although now I follow the A's. Now, let's analyze this: Good quality audio amplifiers run in "Class A" or "Class A-B" mode to faithfully amplify the full audio spectrum of 20-20,000HZ. Back in the early days of transistor radios, there was mostly one size: Shirt Pocket. It had seriously less fidelity than a standard telephone (300-3,000HZ) due to it's mammoth 2 inch tweeter and class "B" audio output, designed to preserve battery life. To put it bluntly, a bird tweeting might be within the audio range of your radio, but a human voice was pushing it. But the main problem was, it only operated at class "B" for a few minutes after installing a fresh battery. When the 9V battery got slightly low...or...into normal operating range, the bias drifted to class "B-1" or "B-2" which means most of the audio was then being clipped. Worse: It unfortunately ran with this ugly, distorted mess for many hours, until the battery finally zonked out. And so, is this article is supposed to be promoting the audio quality of a modern iPhone? Oh-oh! Time for damage control! Current Mood: geeky Current Music: Old Worn Out 78's. Weee! (7 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, May 26th, 2009
9:55 am	Fundies = 1 Normal Humans = 0 Of course you know, this means it's time to launch a FATWA! Current Mood: angry (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, May 22nd, 2009
10:56 pm	The Big One That Got Away Unfortunately, the well-lubricated 1934 KBBF transmitter died an hour before broadcast. Tonite's broadcast was gonna center around the news. If you haven't heard it yet, the Supremes announced tonite that they made a decision on Prop 8, better known as Prop Hate. Then they said, "We can't tell you what the decision was, until Tuesday." Apparently they need time to evacuate the building, and maybe even the state, before they announce the verdict. This led to a wonderful idea, sort of like a "Mission: Impossible" theme, where my radio partner Bob would grab a station computer and try to hack into the California Supreme Court computer system to find out the results. Peppered in the broadcast: Numerous incidents with the computer screaming: "You are preforming an illegal function, and this computer will be shut down." Bob, crowing in a high voice: "I'm getting through the back door!" Bob crowing in a normal voice: "I didn't find the decision yet, but I found free plane tickets to Utah!" It would have been a fun broadcast. Oh, well... Current Mood: annoyed Current Music: None. It's dead, Jim. (16 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, May 18th, 2009
11:55 pm	First Ever QBT Men's Chorus If you recognize your voice in the QBT Men's Chorus Singalong, please let me know. I'm not sure how many actually sung. I owe you all a debt of gratitude! (And special thanks to dhpbear for the stere-o-phonic recordings) Current Mood: Musical Current Music: The Hills Are Alive With The Sound Of Fucking... (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, May 17th, 2009
3:39 pm	iPhone App From my local newspaper: "This year's Health & Harmony Fair will have a special, free app. for use on your iPhone. With it, you'll be able to locate the closest bathroom, or find your car..." Gee, how did we ever locate bathrooms before this special iPhone app? Maybe I should explain things here: The fair is held at the Sonoma County Fairgrounds, of which most attendees are already familiar, because there are many events that take place there throughout the year. But, just in case you're not: As you enter the grounds, toilets are obvious, and in plain sight, about 100 feet from the entrance. Sure, there's no neon sign that screams out "TOILETS!" but you get the general idea. There are a few, long buildings...about 100 feet long. Toilets are where you would expect them: at the ends of the buildings. Wow, they even have a lit-up sign that says "TOILETS." So here's hoping that you'll actually be able to find a place to pee without having to use your special iPhone app. Jeez....what's next? An app that holds your dick for you while you pee, for better aim?! Current Mood: amused (6 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, May 15th, 2009
12:22 am	How To Tell That The World Is Ending I think it sez somewhere in Duke's Bible...that when the world has been reduced to a 20-word sentence of "I'm doing ___ now" and the medium that delivers the messages gets overloaded regularly... it means it's the end of the world. What if: Instead of "I this" or "I that," people actually cared about one another? What if: people actually wrote a 20-word sentence to a friend and asked "Hey, how are you?" Just a thought. Tweet. Tweet. Current Mood: introspective (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, May 11th, 2009
12:07 am	QBT Examined This year's QBT Bike Run came with a really nice, heavy duty souvenir glass, which was marked: Q.B.T. Beer C.U.P. For the better part of a day I couldn't figure it out, and wondering why they would call a glass, a cup? Then, Rat finally got me to read it verbatim, and I recited out loud: "See You Pee." Well, DUUH! Current Mood: amused (7 Comments |Comment on this)