Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in broduke2000's LiveJournal:

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Wednesday, February 3rd, 2010
12:18 am	From The Facebook.Com Beard Group This group is for anybody who has a bread, wants a beard, or likes people with beards!!! Hmm, I have some bread. I think it's a loaf of Rye. Therefore, I can join? ---Duke, your English teacher. Current Mood: accomplished Current Music: Bread---Baby I'm A Want You! (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Tuesday, February 2nd, 2010
1:21 am	Cleaning Out The Duke & Banner In Box Rat's forcing me to clean out the "In" box, and I ran across a script from a radio play we did about a year ago. If you recall, SF Mayor Newsom was caught playing around with someone else's wife. What better scenario for a Duke & Banner bit? As The Newsom Turns Time now for another edition in the continuing saga of As The Newsom Turns, A turgid romantic drama that revolves around the mayor of San Francisco. Or story opens up with Mayor Newsom at his posh home, hitting the bottle of an elegant brandy. Somehow his eyes come to focus as he looks out the big picture window, and who should be looking back at him? It appeared to be a prime specimen from SF's Gay community: Muscles, buffed, and ready for action. Their eyes met briefly in a subliminal ooze as Newsom quickly sized up the situation: Why should he limit his sexual escapades to girls? Hey, there's alot of guys out there too! Like a Nordic Viking, Newsom preformed a hand gesture that told the stranger exactly what was on the official mayor's agenda for the day. The stranger quickly hiked up the steps to the mayor's mansion. Before he could knock, Newsom's door opened wide. "Hi! I'm Don!" The stranger beamed. (drunk) "Donz, Dougz, Phil...Hey, you want some leftover goulash?" The mayor sloshed "Goulash?! That's my fave!" Newsome was practicing his "stray dog" technique. If you feed a homeless dog, he will always come back for more! Without hesitation, Newsom headed for the kitchen. In a few minutes, they were dining on the finest goulash that a Viking's microwave could reheat. Oh...but then disaster struck! "What's that on my fork?" The stranger became bug-eyed. (drunk) "Forkz?! Why, I'd love to as soon as I finish my brandyz." The mayor sloshed. "No, fork! What's on the fork?" The stranger insisted, "It looks like Peanut butter and...Mayonnaise!" (drunk) "Ohz, that was yesterday's sandwich, I thinkz." The mayor sloshed. Oh my! The cat was out of the bag. Alas, Mayor Newsom used the wrong brand of dishwashing liquid in his dishwasher! While every one used Electrosoil, Newsom saved a few cents and bought Brand X, which did a horrible job of removing stuck-on peanut butter and Mayonnaise from the day before. In fact, it was such as insult that Don jumped up, left the table, and headed for the door. (drunk) "Waitz! I can make you a Mayonaise sandwich too." "That's disgusting! That's almost as bad as Ring Around The Collar! And anyway, I have Restless Leg Syndrome, so I gotta go!" With that, the stranger left, without even saying goodbye. Mayor Newsom began crying Viking tears into his brandy. It was time to call DeLancy street once again. xxxxxxxxxxx Will the mayor find true love? Will he buy the sponsor's product? Or more important, will he make another Peanut Butter and Mayonnaise sandwich? Find out the answers to these and many more questions on the next installment of: As The Newsom Turns. Current Mood: amused Current Music: Soap Opera Organ Stuff (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, January 31st, 2010
2:18 am	The Bible The Bible, All 1200 pages The Bible According To Phelps & Southern Baptists (6 pages) Quote from page 1:   Thou shall hate fags, liberals, jews, queers, kikes, niggers, wetbacks, chinks, abortion, or any other brand of religion that's in competition with mine. (Sorry if I offended anybody. I'm merely quoting Phelps) (Extra credit if you know the hexadecimal color used for Phelps) Current Mood: annoyed (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, January 27th, 2010
4:03 am	? ? ? ? Currently dhpbear hosts our podcasts of Duke & Banner which I guess gets played either on computers or on iPods. I know people are downloading them, because we occasionally hear from listeners who hear us this way, some as far away as France. So the question arises: Should we be looking into a cellphone app? While our music is unique, due to the era, I'm thinking it ain't gonna appeal to younger whippersnappers. But you never can tell. We do news that most others don't, including gay news. So ... Enquiring minds want to know: 1) Should we be looking into it? 2) Is there somebody out there who knows how to make an app? 3) Is it hard to do? 4) Is it expensive? Current Mood: confused Current Music: None. There Is No App Yet. (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, January 25th, 2010
3:28 am	1929 Radio With Microphonic Tube Hey kids ... I'm currently working on a 1929 radio. Although some would say I'm playing with it. Yup, way before Integrated Circuits and Transistors there existed vacuum tubes. They glowed. Eventually they burned out. Some were defective from the start, and were called "microphonic." This meant that the tube was sensitive to the touch --- just like a microphone. In this case, we have the worst microphonic tube ever produced. I'm using a wire brush, and just brushing up against the tube gently. Wow! We're having fun!! Jeez, maybe I should rent myself out as a bell? Current Mood: awake Current Music: None. The bell is too loud! (6 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, January 24th, 2010
1:42 am	This Is The Dawning Of The Age Of Milkquarious Copyright: California Milk Processing Board You wouldn't think something called The California Milk Processing Board would do anything exciting, but they've come up with a rock opera video that is every bit as good as The Rocky Horror Picture Show. I'm not making this up! In this 20 minute ditty, you'll see positive references and/or comedy aimed at men who are growing out their beards & hair, becoming gay ... and hints of bestiality and boot fetishes. It's slickly produced, and has some good, original rock tunes. The video is here. But wait there's more! There's a $20,000 scholarship for the best similar video made by high school kids, and guess who's in the Top Ten with their own longhaired video? None other than our own Forestville School, up on the Russian River! So when you're done watching the main video, check out: this rockabilly one shot entirely in Forestville. You can also vote for it. The school that gets the most votes, gets the prize. The California Milk Processing Board, teaching kids the joys of real life! Current Mood: artistic (12 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, January 22nd, 2010
12:06 am	What Do You Think? Rat's Gardening Photo My Partner barbarian_rat is running an ad in the local paper for work. But so far it hasn't generated any gardening clients, possibly because the graphics do not stand out enough. So, what do you think of this? Seems to me, this would generate a whole lot of new business! Current Mood: accomplished (7 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, January 18th, 2010
12:51 am	Dear Pope: Pope and his younger "friend" pitching woo. I realize that there are some in your church who really "adore" choirboys. After all, you spent almost a Billion Dollars so far, just on lawsuits here in the US. But was there a reason you decided to make a porno video for your clientele? I mean, it's just shocking! What came after the Deep Soul Kiss? Maybe Oral? Anal? Maybe S&M? Enquiring minds want to know! And please tell me if common ordinary people can buy this video! I hope it's not limited to just your clergy?! Graciously awaiting Your Holiness's response. Current Mood: bouncy Current Music: Angelic Resonance (5 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, January 15th, 2010
2:35 am	Out And About Photo By Steven Gross Went with a very happy Rat to see the movie Pirate Radio at the Rio Theatre in Monte Rio. I can't say a whole lot about the sound quality. I mean, if you're doing a movie about music, shouldn't you sorta equalize it so it doesn't sound like a telephone? It IS my autobiography, though. And although the British government finally backed down, the US gov't continues to insure that you hear the same songs played by the same corporations, ad infinitum. Who knows, maybe someday I'll be forced to go back to my piratical ways. I still got a Kilowatt transmitter that hasn't been dusted off for at least a decade. It's supposed to be free speech, but the gov't is afraid I'll say something bad about them. Come and get me, coppers! Current Music: Tinny (11 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, January 13th, 2010
2:11 am	Dear Mr. President: The thought occurred to me that the economy ain't gonna get better ever again. Why? Well take my recent visit to the dentist. There, because I was such a lovely patient, I was showered with gifts. Take, for instance, my Smile Goods™ Premium Toothbrush sold by Praticon, of Greenville, North Carolina and made ... in CHINA! Then there's the wonderful Crest™ Glide Cool Mint Floss, sold by Proctor & Gamble in Cincinnati, Ohio and made ... in CHINA! But, aside from the dentist, the thing that really got me was this year's New Year's Eve Balloons. Sold by American Greetings in Cleveland, Ohio and made ... in CHINA! My Dear Mr. President: Does everything have to be made in FUCKING CHINA?! Current Mood: annoyed (12 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, January 12th, 2010
12:44 am	Prop 8 Trial Tracker Well, we ain't got "official" youtube videos yet, although it's rumored that some people took out their cellphones and began shooting video of the hate-filled fundies, emoting. In the meantime, we got The Prop 8 Trial Tracker. Hey ... Beats the 10PM news. Thanks, Gary for finding this! Current Mood: accomplished (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, January 7th, 2010
2:46 am	Shocking! I'm like, totally shocked! Whist thumbing thru records, I discover that the guy who produced the Pro-Republican, Pro-God, Pro-Gun, Pro-War, Anti-Commie diatribe entitled Ballad Of The Green Berets (by Staff Sgt. Barry Sadler) (as recorded on RCA-Victor) is named Andy Wiswell. Similarly, the man who produced the very big-bandish Zing! Went The Strings Of My Heart (by the very, very Gay Judy Garland) (in '59 for Capitol) is also named Andy Wiswell. Of course, in '59, Gay people didn't exist, but that's beside the point. Is Andy Wiswell one of them closet Homos I've been reading about? How could he possibly produce Propaganda stuff and Gay stuff at the same time? Enquiring minds want to know.... Current Mood: amused Current Music: Neither of the above (5 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, January 5th, 2010
1:43 am	Fun With Fundies & Uganda Exodus International, Scott Lively, & Caleb Brundidge have made a lucrative career basing their religion on one thing: Gay. Yes, while the Bible has some 1,000 pages and preaches things like "Don't Kill" "Don't Lie" and "Don't Eat Shellfish," these bozos concentrate on one or two pages, and anything that's gay. They were protesting in Colorado when gays wanted to be equal. They were also in Washington when congress first tried to pass the Matthew Shepherd bill, arguing that the bill would hurt their "church" and it should be OK for their followers to murder gays. Well, now with a Democratic congress, these wonderful Evangelical Christians are noting that their coffers are drying up, so they set sail for a foreign country. After all, when you're preaching hate, money is available just about everywhere. And so, what better place to try than Uganda? After all, the average person has an IQ of about 13, and their religion is already telling them that raping a Lesbian will "cure" her, because their straight dick is so...manly. Lo and behold, within a few weeks, the Ugandan government has passed a law making it mandatory to kill anybody suspected of being gay. Why, I can just imagine the boys at Exodus jerking off at that idea. Mission accomplished! We're ridding the world of Gays!!! Oh, but then the liberal media got ahold of it, and the liberal UN got ahold of it, and our liberal Democratic congress is threatening to withhold millions of dollars in Foreign Aid. Worse: Exodus International is also being threatened with losing a big U.S. government contract, so they did something unheard of: They sent a registered letter to the Ugandan government, asking them to repeal the law. That's right: These bozos, actually opened up their Bible and read a second page! The "Don't Kill" page. Amazing!!! But you should be happy too! As a result of the possibility of losing their foreign aid, and that wonderful letter they got from Exodus, the Ugandan government has decided that maybe Life In Prison will be a good alternative to outright murder. To show your love of Exodus Intl, you can visit their groovy website here (click on "contact us") or you can call them toll-free at 888-264-0877. You'll be glad you did! Current Mood: angry (7 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, January 1st, 2010
12:35 am	Happy New Year 2 0 1 0 Once a year, Rat and I toast to an especially *wet* and greasy New Year. Here's hoping you did too! So what did you do last night? Current Mood: happy (11 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, December 31st, 2009
12:09 am	Heinz Spotted Dick?! Sometimes, A Picture Is Worth 1,000 Words We saw this at the store. What in the heck is it? Current Mood: amused (6 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, December 23rd, 2009
1:45 am	Horny Dudes Knocking On Your Door Congrats: Jonathan Medina. He was a Pharmacist at a CVS pharmacy in Norwalk, Conn. His trouble started when a female customer talked to the manager about how badly he was behaving---that got Jonathan fired. But not before he stole the patients' CVS computer records. What happened next was interesting---he posted a sex ad on Craigslist, listing her phone number. At 7AM, her phone started ringing---the phone hasn't stopped yet. Even worse---some started knocking at the door. Apparently he also listed her address. In the meantime, Jonathan has fled Connecticut, and is on the lam, somewhere. Phone ringing off the hook with offers for sex? People knocking on your door asking for sex? Man, I'd PAY Jonathan to make that happen here! Current Mood: amused (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, December 18th, 2009
11:20 am	Birthday Boys Today it's Happy Birfday wetinsf In 2 days, it's Happy Birfday blackwingbear But will either of them be wet this week? Ho Ho! Current Mood: high Current Music: Happy Birthday To You, Happy Birthday To You, Happy Birthday, Happy Birthday... (6 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, December 17th, 2009
12:27 am	Writer's Block: Take this job and shove it ... Have you ever walked off a job on the spot? What drove you to it? Did you regret it afterwards? Submitted By hisensei808 View 885 Answers There was a gay-owned TV repair shop in Los Angeles, advertising for a tech. I already had a TV repair job at a straight place, but the gay place was located a block away, and I figured walking to work might be a good thing. Upon entering the gay place, I could feel the tension. A skinny counterboy, who didn't look a day over 18, greeted me coldly. His alligator shirt was neatly pressed; his jeans had holes in just the right spots, and he looked like he took a bath once every hour, so he could splash on some new cologne. Not one strand of blond hair was out of place in his immaculate, clean-cut hairdo. He was right out of some Mafia gay porn book. Without smiling he emoted: "What do you want?" Whereupon I told him that I was answering their ad for a technician. The counterboy smirked, and went to the back. He escorted an older man, who was just as sparkling clean, and dressed the same way. The older man emoted: "Can I help you?" Whereupon I repeated myself. The older man looked amazed, as he continued to emote: "Sir, you'll have to shave before I can hire you. Otherwise you'd scare away the customers." WIth that, I stormed out the door and drove to my job across town, where I somehow had been managing not to scare away the customers, for well over 2 years. Current Music: I'm Gonna Wash That Man Right Outta My Hair (10 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, December 16th, 2009
3:39 am	Lady Ga Ga---Vs---The Queen Photo courtesy Huffington Post I'm Speechless. OK, maybe I'm not: Does she like to get wet, wearin' all that rubber? And what's goin' on with the eyes? Current Music: Queen (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, December 11th, 2009
12:36 am	Dianne Benson For President! I'm starting her campaign now, for it's the early bird who catches all the worms. Current Mood: accomplished (3 Comments |Comment on this)